Hey all, Santa here. Listen, we’ve decided to start posting our progress for each Christmas season here on this blog. Hopefully, that will lessen the impact on our snail mail coming in, and free up some of Mrs. Clause’s valuable time for other things. That’s what she told me to say. I didn’t actually know what a blog was until she made me sit down and listen. Here’s how it works. In each entry we will try to address some past and current concerns, as well as keep everyone up to date on how we are doing. I’m still not sure how this whole thing is going to come together. We (Martha) hired a consulting firm to help with morale and negative public image. They all felt that we needed a little technology update. “Blast yourself into the 90's” I believe is how he put it. I’m still unclear on exactly how the internet, blog subscriptions, Twitter™, and Blackberry™ applications all work (I think I got all the words right there), but I gather that if I just type, then hit POST, you all can somehow magically see it. Don’t bother writing in to explain it to me. I won’t read it anyway. Just visit http://christmasinc.blogspot.com ® for all your questions instead of writing to me and I’ll be happy. Right now I actually have work to do, so here’s our guest blogger for this week: my beautiful wife, Martha Clause. Take it away, boss lady.
December 1
Hi all. I am so excited about Christmas this year. I thought in this first blog post I would give you all my secret recipe for Santa’s favorite cookies: Oatmeal and Prune! He loves them, and can’t get enough. I want everyone to make them, and leave him plenty this year. You know he eats everything that you leave out for him because he loves you all so much. He just can’t get enough of these tasty morsels!
Of course the original recipe calls for raisins, but I replaced them with prunes so he won’t get all “plugged up”, as it were. You know when you get to be our age, your digestive tract needs just a little extra help. Also the oatmeal is a significant source of fiber, which aids in digestion and lowers cholesterol too. I also leave out the sugar. Can’t have my Santa putting on too much weight. I know you all are used to a rolly, polly Santa but I need to keep his weight down. We all need to get used to the new slimmer, trimmer model. And speaking of fat, there is none in these cookies either. They scream health food all the way. Last year I put a huge batch of them in the sleigh before Santa left so he wouldn’t run out of snacks on the road. The bag came back empty. That’s proof enough for me how much he loves them!
So, here it is, my secret recipe. And don’t forget the egg nog!
Oatmeal Prune Cookies
Ingredients:
4 C instant cook oatmeal
1 bag large prunes
water to bind (you can use a little flavoring if you like but I try not to spoil him too much)
2 large eggs to hold it all together
Combine all ingredients except the prunes into a bowl and stir until well mixed. You don’t need any flour, we are on a gluten free kick these days. Leavening isn’t necessary either since there is nothing that will rise. The dough may seem a little pasty and heavy but just keep stirring. (Don’t use a wooden spoon, they tend to snap right about now.) That’s the way it should be. Leave plenty of time to wash your hands, this stuff is a little sticky. Scoop onto cookie sheets and push 3 large prunes down into each cookie. They must be securely anchored to each one, not just sitting on top. Bake in a 500 degree oven for about 3-4 hours, or until dark and extra crispy. Sprinkle a little cinnamon over the top for an extra treat and to cover up some of the darkest brown coloring. No need to refrigerate or cover up. They stay hard and crunchy without any preservatives at all.
Enjoy~
Martha
Comment : Santa: Oh good going Martha. Now I’m either going to be clogged up so bad a plunger won’t help me, or a faucet that won’t shut off. There’s no way to tell which. Could go either way.
Comment: Prancer: He tried to feed them to us last year. I broke my tooth and had to make an emergency landing at a dentist. Do you know how hard it is to find a veterinary dentist on Christmas Eve?
Comment: Santa: About as hard as those cookies are! Ha! Last year we used some of them to fend off seagulls off the coast of California. I think we killed a few. Are they endangered?
Comment: Vixen: Health food isn’t all they scream! Can we pack some Pepto™ this year?
Comment: Ivan, chief elf: Keep them coming folks. We don’t have to mine for as much coal when we get these. Saves the elves from getting Black Lung Disease, and the naughty folks never know the difference.
Comment: Martha: I don’t know why I even try anymore.
Comment: Prancer: Does that mean no cookies this year? Please?
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